Healing thyself...

With thanks for this item from Bobbe Bramson, published by Reiki Digest on 19/3/10.
I have reduced the content to change the context to a general caring for yourself, rather than Reiki self-healing. The full article can be found at: http://reikidigest.blogspot.com/2010/03/healer-heal-thyself.html


If I had to pick the one lesson that has been the most prevalent in my soul’s journey it would be this: learning how to take care of myself without guilt, without justification, without apology.

Like so many women of my generation, I was taught to sacrifice my own needs on the altar of everyone else’s, to hide my dreams deep down where they wouldn’t be found, and to tamp down the spark of my unique self lest my light offend or overwhelm those who took care of me. To protect myself I became hyper vigilant, reading facial cues from those around me to tell me when and how I should act and stifling my own self-expression. This was not an environment that fostered feelings of confidence, deservedness, or self-love. Bottom line: Take care of others first. Put thyself last.

As the black sheep of my family I took on other people’s projected hurts and adopted the errant (heir-ant) belief that if I could just fix their problems then I could finally attend to mine. I was indoctrinated early and well into patterns of self-neglect and I have spent a lifetime learning how to undo them.

I do not feel unique in this regard. In my experience many people who become healing professionals have similar stories to tell, and many are much more harrowing than mine. Let’s face it - we caretakers are great at giving-giving-giving and not so good at being on the receiving end ourselves.

My entrenched patterns reached crisis proportions in my late 40’s. I had overworked for decades in a career that I’d come to by default and didn’t enjoy, all the while pursuing fame and fortune writing songs that went against what I believed in. Almost everything I did was either fake or done for the wrong reasons and it was bleeding me dry. Still I chose to ignore the warning signs until finally my body gave up the charade and literally bled out. Surgery saved my life, but I knew that something else horrible would happen if I didn’t address the root of the problem: chronic self-neglect. I simply did not know how to listen to or serve my own needs.

What followed was a very dark night of the soul and it was my attunement to Reiki that brought back the light, a lifeline that I grabbed hold of, praying that it would bring me back to my true self: it has never let me down since. It thrills me that it is dependable beyond any measure I could fathom, infinitely available to me just for the asking. It opened a space within that would allow me to love me, wearing down the hard rock of my self-neglect and melting away my resistance to getting better, my fear of being seen and heard in the world.

I love this quote:
"The perfect man of old looked after himself first before looking to help others." (Chuang Tsu c.360BC-275BC)
While it would seem completely logical to look after our own well-being first before attending to others, most of us don’t. And it doesn’t help that we live in a culture that judges such behavior as selfish and in fact encourages overworking and busyness to the point of exhaustion.

Imagine yourself and your precious energy as a high-yielding savings account. Now imagine that every day you withdraw money from this account, but never once put in any deposits. Pretty soon the inevitable is going to occur; you go in to take out your money and, whoops, there’s not a cent left. I’m exaggerating, of course, but this is exactly what we do when we give to everyone else and don’t take the time to "make a deposit" into our own account. What does it say about us when we counsel others to take better care of themselves while not doing it for ourselves? How can we expect our clients, loved ones, and co-workers to do their healing work if we don’t?

So what is it that keeps us from making an investment of time towards our own healing? There are lots of reasons, but some common rationalizations are "I’m too busy," "I have to do these more pressing things first," "I’m tired now, I’ll do it later," "I can’t do Reiki now because (insert your own)". I think the core reason we don’t, no matter what guise it takes on, is that we don’t feel we really deserve it, or that somehow we aren’t good enough to warrant that kind of loving attention. Here is the truth: any time we give ourselves a Reiki treatment, any time we put our hands on our bodies and run the energy we are participating in a radical act of self-love.

Is it okay for us to give to ourselves so that we can feel good and be more at peace even if around us others are struggling, miserable, or have lives filled with chaos? I would advocate for its being not only okay, but imperative. It’s really very simple: The healthier we are the more we have to give. The more we use Reiki on ourselves the more ki there is flowing through us all the time and the stronger channel we become. Reiki fills in the gaps and clears the places we block our light, and when our light shines other people benefit from its clarity and warmth. The more we are "being Reiki," the more grounded and calm we can be in the midst of life’s storms.

Some of the ways to weave Reiki into your life:

Put your alarm on snooze: but don't snooze - give yourself 10 minutes of Reiki
Add intent when meditating, going for a walk, doing yoga
When in the shower give yourself a "Reiki shower"
Traffic jams, red lights, waiting in supermarket queues: it doesn't have to be a long session, just invite the Reiki in.

Want to learn Reiki? If you're in Sydney I commend to you my Reiki Master, Erica Bagshaw of The Alignment Group at North Sydney. For elsewhere contact the Australian Reiki Connection.